“Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue.” Proverbs 28:23
Devotional Thought For The Day
The first assumption is that the person being “rebuked” is willing to listen and actually consider what he is being rebuked for. There are proverbs that describe the reaction of a foolish person to instruction, correction, and admonition. “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” [Proverbs 12:15] “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.” [Proverbs 15:5] “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” [Proverbs 18:2] In addition, there are multitudes of descriptions in Holy Scripture of servants of God’s Word admonishing, rebuking, and offering correction to people who reject it, who despise the Word of God, and in some cases turn viciously against the one offering admonition. When we read the Gospels we encounter many instances of Jesus suffering this kind of opposition, rejection, and disapproval of His ministry of God’s Word. The apostles suffered the same as we see in the book of Acts. So the proverb does not describe people who are foolish and arrogant, impervious to correction. They are actually much more approving and desirous of flattery.
The proverb indicates that it may take time for a person to actually appreciate and express “favor” for an admonition. Often we react poorly to a “rebuke,” allowing anger and perhaps even indignation to arise. It may take some time for a person to demonstrate prudence, understanding, and wisdom in receiving correction. So we should not be quick to judge, but rather allow a good deal of time for the person’s own behavior to reveal what is in their heart, the condition of their spirit. And when we are rebuked we should take heed and listen, with willingness to consider that we may need some correction. This may be painful, but it should also be appreciated; without such correction how can we grow wiser? And when we recognize the good that comes from such rebuke and correction we should express that to the one who cared enough about us to confront and correct us!
The proverb also assumes that the “rebuke” is correct and proper. We’ve all been rebuked for things that are absurd and ridiculous, where there is no real offense or compelling need for correction, and when it becomes apparent that the one rebuking has no real interest in helping us but is just blowing off steam or worse, intends to pain or even harm us with such rebuke. In such circumstances we might actually listen to and evaluate the rebuke and find something helpful in it, but it is unlikely that the one who is actually verbally negative and destructive toward another will “afterward find favor.” In such circumstances, the one who is “offended” and “rebuking” may be like a fool who takes pleasure “only in expressing his opinion.” This is especially the case when the one who is doing the correction refuses to continue relationship and communication but utilizes the “rebuke” to write off the other person. Such behavior is hardly worthy of appreciation or favor, nor can it be considered loving or caring!
It seems that this whole topic is much more difficult today, that people are much more sensitive, more susceptible or eager to be offended, and more willing to simply walk away from relationships. This is not how Scripture describes genuine love and relationships among God’s people of faith. Additionally, we should consider carefully that God’s Word requires His servants to supply legitimate and reasonable rebuke, and that this is part of His love for us and their calling from Him. Obviously Jesus seemed harsh at times, as did the prophets before Him, and His holy apostles. Those who serve His Word must be ready to accept all manner of rejection and unjust criticism, or they will not be able to stay in the kitchen. The same is true for all Christians, both in receiving real correction and suffering rejection when we offer it. And we will always have to deal with “rebuke” that is illegitimate and destructive, what in reality are expressions of cold and hardened hearts. We do so with forgiveness and compassion and a constant willingness to continue in relationship – just as God does with us. It is a curious thing how one’s actions reflect his understanding of and relationship with God, both in offering correction and receiving it. May His love conquer and His Spirit guide us in all these matters.
Prayer For The Day
Dear Lord Jesus, You know our pride and stubbornness when it comes to receiving rebuke. Forbid that we succumb to foolishness by refusing correction. You also know the anger and hatred that is expressed toward us in illegitimate rebuke and correction, and the pain this causes. Protect us and soothe our grievous pain. Help us to grasp Your love, Your wondrous mercy and forgiveness, and help us to make this the core of our heart and being. It is a hard, cold world that we live in. Forbid that we allow this coldness to take over our hearts. Amen.